The Zing blog team caught up with Sevek and found him to be unusually talkative about a subject near and dear to his heart: Shanak, his dog.
Q: First of all, welcome to Earth! How are you adjusting to your new life?
A: I would not classify my life as “new” simply because I have moved to a new planet. But I understand the intent of your question, and my response is that my wife, V’Nay, and I are adapting well. Our dog, Shanak, however, is having issues.
Q: What kind of issues?
A: Humans on Earth tend to dress their dogs to look like humans. This is highly illogical to Shanak, as she knows that her fur, like that of all dogs, is sufficient for both warmth and protection from the elements. This confusion is leading to some troubling behavior on her part.
Q: What’s she been doing?
A: Shanak seems to be succumbing to the troubling human obsession with narcissism and egotistical behavior. Upon checking her Instagram account, I found that she’s been taking what humans call “selfies.” This is highly illogical.
Q: Maybe a trip to the vet is in order?
A: In addition to a completely irrational fear of vacuum cleaners, Shanak was initially apprehensive at the prospect of visiting her veterinarian. However, her fear of hip dysplasia eventually won out and she has become much more compliant.
Q: Maybe Shanak needs to make friends. Have you considered taking her to a local dog park?
A: We have taken her to such a facility, and she did indeed meet a new friend, Jasper. Given the fact that Shanak is skilled in suppressing her emotions, we found her choice of such an expressive new dog friend curious, to say the least.
“You might think Jasper’s sunglasses are silly, but given the holes in the ozone, the UV protection they provide is quite logical.” -Shanak . . . Presented by Rocket Mortgage by Quicken Loans. See “Star Trek Beyond” now in theaters.
A photo posted by Shanak the Vulcan Dog (@shanakthevulcandog) on
Q: Has she made any enemies?
A: At the dog park, a rather large bullmastiff by the name of Spike tried to engage in battle with Shanak. After a particularly effective Vulcan nerve pinch … well, let’s just say Spike has been banished to the outer reaches.
Q: Have you found anything that makes Shanak especially happy?
A: As a family, we gain intellectual stimulation through journeys to various famous destinations throughout America. We are soon planning a trip to one of your most significant cultural institutions, the Las Vegas Strip. I trust it will be most fascinating.
Q: Thank you so much for your time, Sevek. I hope Shanak continues to enjoy all Earth has to offer. Please give my best to N’Vay.
A: Live long and prosper.
Whether you have a Vulcan dog or not, here are some more tips on how to calm your anxious pooch. Do you have any tips you’d like to share with us? Boldly go to the comments area below.
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