I live in a small house with my husband and young son (and a dog and cat). I love them all dearly, but often feel totally overrun with their stuff. My husband’s books, videogames, musical instruments and recording equipment take up space in every room. My son’s toys are constantly strewn across his bedroom and our living/dining room. The dog and cat don’t have much to speak of, but what they do have is always underfoot.

I pick everything up at least twice a day, only to have the Duplos immediately emptied onto the floor and an acoustic guitar, picks and a capo hanging out on the sofa – next to the dog and cat – leaving me no place to sit. Nowhere in our house is sacred. Not even the (only) bathroom. Sometimes a mom just needs some peace and quiet and a clean place to sit down.

I dream of having the time/money/space to set up a retreat in my home. In the meantime, here’s a list of things I dream about for my eventual mom cave.

Ooh… Maybe I’ll get a big enough tax refund to get started soon!


I’m not going to lie. It’s going to be girly. In most of my house, I like clean, contemporary design with bold colors and few knickknacks. In my mom cave, I’ll likely end up with soft colors, breezy draperies, lots of interesting and unnecessary pillows and a drop-dead gorgeous chandelier. Oh, and a cozy, deep-pile rug. It’s going to be the kind of room that looks sunny all year and invites you (well, me) to cuddle up with a book and some music of my choosing.


I want a chaise. It invites one person to lounge comfortably. Just one. It’s MY room. I’ll have a soft and beautiful blanket draped across it, ready for the chilly evenings. I’ll also need a table or two to hold my cup of tea (with milk, thank you) or my glass of wine (red in the winter, white in the summer). I guess this means I’ll need a little tea cart/wine bar, too.

I also need a bookshelf, for the many books I’ll one day have time to read and savor. I want doors on it, though. The hodgepodge of mismatched sizes and cover art will not go with my aesthetic.

I think I’ll also have a TV. Sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I just don’t want to watch football. I’d like a place to watch all the silly rom-coms my husband doesn’t like or the documentaries that are too detailed for a toddler’s viewing. I think I’ll splurge on a fancy Mirror TV. I don’t want the big (yes, it will be big), black rectangle on the wall to detract from the loveliness of my room.

I think I’ll have to add another soft chair for the times I have a friend (female) visiting, and we both want to escape the energy/mess of the rest of the house.


I’d love a fireplace, but will be happy with an array of yummy-scented candles to suit my current mood.

I’ll have fresh flowers every week. I may have to start a flower garden in my yard to be able to afford this, but I like gardening, so it’s a win-win.

I’ll have to have music. My iTunes and my Pandora stations will suffice. I’ll have my laptop on hand, so I won’t need a stereo, maybe just some halfway-decent speakers.

There will be books (and magazines). I love reading, but rarely have time to do it. I’m going to catch up. I am.

I’m going to have an electric kettle to make my tea. I don’t want a microwave in my room – it would be too much like a kitchen, and if I loved the kitchen, I wouldn’t need my mom cave.

Slippers. I don’t normally wear them, but I feel a silky pair adorned with feathers and a kitten heel will be a necessary touch to add to the luxury. Oh, and a silk robe.

The door will have to have a lock. This is not negotiable. As I said earlier, even our bathroom is not sacred. I am never alone inside any part of our house. Never.

Even though this room is going to be mine, alone, I will have a picture of my favorite men displayed prominently. They make me happier than any place ever could, despite being the reasons I need a mom cave in the first place.

What ideas do you have for your mom cave? I’m always looking for more inspiration!

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