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Holidays. They’re all about a house full of happy houseguests, a belly full delicious food, relaxing, sleeping in, enjoying yourself and best of all – no stress. Right? Hardly! That kind of stress-free holiday only happens in some kind of mirror universe, where down is up and Vulcans have goatees and emotion!

In reality, holidays are stressful, crazy events often packed with too much to do and not enough time in which to do it, too much bad food, not enough quiet, and somewhere in there you have to find it within yourself to be glad you’re spending the night in your grandma’s attic with a lumpy pillow and a dusty comforter.

While I may not be able to help you with the time management, the bad food or grandma’s attic-quilt, I can help you handle the influx of family and friends that happens en masse during the holidays.  Whether you’re heading out to spend a few days of family all up in ya grill 24/7, or you’re hosting them at your home, I have a few tips on how to have – and be – a happy houseguest during the holiday season.

First and foremost, if you want to be a happy houseguest while you’re staying with friends or family, the easiest things you can do are plan ahead and remember common courtesy.

Communicate! Most people forget that communication is the key to maintaining a happy life. Just think of all the problems that could be solved if you just expressed yourself instead of rolling your eyes and complaining under your breath. For example, if your grandma only has one bathroom, but you’re sharing the space with your brother, his wife and their two kids, you know it’s going to be hard to get in there and take a leisurely shower like you’re used to.  Instead of getting angry when everyone is banging on the door asking when you’re going to be out of there, talk to your brother and figure out routines ahead of time. Talking it out makes sure it won’t be such a pain in the tuchus when you get there.

Get away! One of the best things you can do for yourself and your host is spending time away from them every day. Even if you’re staying with your best friend, with whom you feel you share a brain, and you haven’t seen her in more than a year, spending at the very least 30 minutes on your own will do you both some good. Nothing is good for you in excess quantities – even your best friend. Everything in moderation, gentle reader. So head on out to the grocery store, walk around a book store, go sightseeing, go get some coffee…anything. But don’t forget common courtesy and always let your host know when you’ll be gone or when you’re coming back.

R-e-s-p-e-c-t! Whether you’re staying at your parents, in the house you grew up in, or at your best friend’s house, understand and respect the rules of their home. It’s amazing how often people forget this simple and easy-to-follow rule. If the hosts don’t wear shoes in their house, take your shoes off at the door, you schmuck. If they cook for you, the very least you can do is help clean up. You’d clean up your dishes at home, staying at someone else’s home does not exempt you from work. Take cues from the hosts as to how things run in their home, and when it doubt, ask.

Clean up! Really. Don’t be a slob. Even if you’re the furthest thing from a neat freak, try to contain your mess to your personal area. If you are fortunate enough to have a room to yourself, it’s even easier to keep your dreck from the common areas of the home.  Fold – or wad – up your clothes and tuck – or shove – them into your suitcase at the end of the night. Keep toiletries in a travel bag, not scattered around the host’s bathroom. You don’t have to go so far out of your way to be clean that you start developing nervous ticks over something out of place, but just be reasonable. Just try not to take over the host’s house with your stuff.

However, if you’re the one hosting an influx of family or friends this year, there are some really simple things you can do to ensure you have happy houseguests – and thus – harmony in your home.

Communicate! Most people forget that communication is the key to maintaining a happy life. Just think of all the problems…wait. I feel like I am repeating myself. That’s because I am! This is such a simple fact that goes over the head of the majority of the population. If you talk to your guests, if you set up clear expectations, there can be no misunderstandings or hurt feelings. AND even if there are, talking about it will clear the air faster and get you back on the road to happiness. If you have house rules, or want your guests to pitch in with chores, let them know! They can’t fix what they don’t know is broken, ya dig?

Anticipate! Proper planning helps keep things moving along smoothly. Sure, you can’t prepare for every little dip and bump in the road, but you can at least have some things on hand if things DO go awry. Think ahead of some things that might make your guests more comfortable in your home and make them available. For example, when I went to visit my Grandma in the hospital in Florida, I stayed at her house with her husband for well over a week. He made sure that there were snacks in the house, that there was extra bacon (because I love me some bacon), my favorite drinks, magazines and other little things to make my difficult stay as easy as possible. A little thought goes a long way towards making your guests comfortable.

Clean up! Make room for your guests. Chances are they already feel slightly uncomfortable about having to schlep all their stuff into your home, not to mention the fact that they’re going to be living out of a suitcase for a few days. The least you can do is make room for their things. If you have space available, clean out room in a closet for their things. Pick up the catch-all area of your home (whether that’s in a guest room, basement office, living room area) so that you can create a get-away space for your guest. No matter how much you like or love that person, you’re both going to want some “me time.” Cleaning up that area will give your houseguest a chance to go and read a book or sit on their computer and catch up on email. A relaxed houseguest is a happier houseguest and a clean home is a happy home. Two rights can’t be wrong, am I right?

Entertain! Chances are your houseguests are going to want something to do other than sit around and schmooze in your home all day. And chances are, if you’re hosting houseguests for the holidays, you know a little bit about their interests. Take a few minutes to plan out some things for you to do with your guests, show them around town, take them to your favorite watering hole (both figuratively and literally, I suppose. Maybe you live in Africa and this time of year is perfect for catching Zebra quaffing down a drink. One never knows!). Show your guests a good and interesting time, but remember to go back to the first bit of advice first – communicate. Let your guests know you have some stuff planned, but that your feelings won’t be hurt if they choose not to do anything at all. Your job as host is not to go about business as usual and expect your guest to shape up or ship out! Your job is to make your home comfortable and to create an environment that ensures a happy houseguest. And who knows, maybe when the time comes for your guest to play host, they’ll have learned from your kind example!

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